09.28.07
Confundination
I am sooooo agitated about this whole smoking thing. Not to steal from another well-known comedian or anything, but I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but I do believe this country was founded on basic freedoms. Among these many freedoms, is the ability to do whatever you want to your own body, even GASP! smoke. Now, you can’t even smoke outside without getting screamed at by the smoke Nazis. Everywhere you go, someone wants to tell you what to do, and how to think. When will it stop? America used to be a free country, now it goes to the highest bidder. That usually means that someone is getting screwed. Usually the little guy. Bars, clubs, and any place that serves alcohol is losing business fast, simply because smoking is currently regarded as a sin. One of the newly named ten deadly ones, right up there with existing as a human being. I’m tired of it. if I would like to inhale dangerous carcinogens, it should be my right to do so. Consequently, it is your right not to, by simply staying out of my face. ( Actually, this tactic also avoids fights.) Let people be, keep out of their business, and concentrate on you. You probably need it anyways.
09.27.07
Bars and Barflys
Why can’t people just get along? Everytime some idiot gets drunk, they suddenly become billy badass, and decide to fight someone. Fighting solves nothing, no matter what certain tshirts say. All it does is ruin friendships, and drive people away from you. Get a life, please. No body wants to be hit, and those who enjoy fighting have mental problems of their own. Take it from me, there are much better ways.
09.19.07
Karaoke Crazy
So why do drunk people think they can sing? Seems to me that it’s the other way around. The more you drink, the better I sound. my singing has been described as something akin to the mating call of a buffalo, at the same time as it’s being shot by a bazooka. Oh, well, I guess it’s all in the taste. However, believe me when I say that being drunk does NOT imbue you with some strange talent virus that allows you to sing any song you want. This is why we have karaoke. It is so that the talentless, such as I, may scream or attempt to sing in such a way that glass does not break. the glass, however, usually has other ideas, and breaks out of sheer fear. No matter how much super glue you use, it just won’t stay together. Oh well, guess I’ll just keep trying.
09.18.07
War On Education
It occurs to me, that the educational system needs a little fine tuning. After all, you do need a college degree just to get into Kindergarten. I’ve never seen a system that was that backwards. I mean come on now, when I was 5, the last thing on my mind was the theme behind War and Peace. Algebra was a concept for old people, and probably a story they made up, like the boogeyman. Now, the schools have kids reading within the first week of Kindergarten. Wow, I mean, it’s great that today’s kids are smarter than ever, but whatever happened to having a childhood. My own daughter gets up at 7:30, and is out the door by 8:30. After school, she goes to a tutor until 6, and comes home, eats, bathes, and basically goes to bed. Hell, I had an easier schedule in the Army. And that was whenever I was out in the field. Still I’m glad to see that my daughter is getting a quality education. She has been pushed through the last two grades, and against my will I might add. She’s been diagnosed ADHD, as well as several other kids. The school’s solution? Dope them up until they are mindless zombies. Let me tell you, I am absolutely thrilled, especially when she brings home an F on work that she does perfectly fine for me. Grades are given for handwriting style, which of course my daughter is cursed with. I could be a doctor with my chicken scratch. Ah well, I suppose a few written comments won’t do much. I suppose that the Educational Hitlers in the state will continue to expect more and more that is beyond the grasp of a five year old mind. I suppose that more and more kids will be ushered into classes that they will not understand simply because they did not understand the basics. it’s a great system, I just wish somebody would explain it to me.
09.12.07
A Nightmare
Today I had a very bad day. I was waiting on my daughter at the school bus stop, and the bus never showed up. My mother came down the hill, and told me that she had got a phone call from a little girl telling her to go to a friend’s house to get her. Well, it was my daughter, and it took an hour to find her. Turns out that she told the bus driver she wanted off the bus, so she could play with one of her friends. Get this, THE BUS DRIVER LET HER OFF!!! No note from me, no phone call, nothing. Now I believe that it is school policy not to allow a student off the bus at any other stop without a note from a parent. This bus driver was completely in the wrong by letting her off of that bus. My daughter was eventually picked up by the highway patrol, because she was walking home. At least she knows the way home. I don’t know what is up with people these days. My mother spoke with the chief of police in my town, and believe me, if it can happen, charges will be filed against that bus driver, if not the school itself. I mean, we had half the town walking the streets looking for her. Hopefully she has learned her lesson, because anything can happen. There are enough weirdos in this town to make Salem look like a theme park. Frightening as it was, I do take comfort that my daughter is able to call home if she needs to, or even get home.
09.10.07
The Voice
A man was walking along a lonely beach, when suddenly a deep voice says “DIG!” Looking around, he saw no one there. Suddenly, the voice speaks again, “I SAID DIG!” So the man digs, for lack of anything better to do. After a few minutes, he finds a chest filled with money. Suddenly the voice speaks again, “TO THE CASINO!” The man figures the voice has been pretty good to him so far, so he goes to the casino. As he walks in, the deep voice says, “ROULETTE!” He goes to the roulette table, and the voice says, : “27!” He puts all of his money on the number 27. The croupier sends the ball going, and when it finally stops, it lands on number 26. The voice says, “DAMN!”
09.07.07
Dead Toad Bitches and Smoking Situations
It has come, and it’s not pretty! I am ticked off beyond all sense of the word. As many of you may know, my family owns a bar, which of course has been affected by this smoking ban imposed on our fair state. Now, as I understand it, the ban requires a minimum of 20 feet between the smoker and a doorway, which in most circumstances is no big deal. However, when our bar is turned in because the store next door has a problem with smokers in general, and they leave the bar across the street alone, then we have a problem. Heck, they practically smoke inside the place. They are that close to the door. Not to mention the fuddy duddies in the shop next door like to harass customers in general, simply because they view alcohol as a bad thing. As I said in a previous post, GET A LIFE!!!!!! People have both the God-given and Constitutionally given right to do as they see fit in this country. If you don’t approve of alcohol, or tobacco, fine by me. Shut up already, and let people be. I suppose you have to have the right name anymore. Some people can do anything they want and not have people breathing down their necks. It’s not right but it happens.
09.06.07
Get A Life
It occurred to me today that people make too much out of nothing. I’ve seen stuff blown so out of proportion that it’s not even funny. To be honest, who really cares what everybody else on the planet is doing? You have more important stuff to do, like get some money and buy a clue. I’ll agree that somethings should be left alone, but if a person chooses to indulge in something, why does it have to be spread all over town? Not everybody is like that, true, but to those that are, and you know who you are, get a life!
09.05.07
And Now, Relaxation!!!!
Well, it’s been a rough weekend here in Radioland. The big Labor Day party is now over, and we can all breathe a sigh of relief. My school is over, so now I am a fully qualified Poker Dealer, available for all parties, wedding, etc. So now hopefully I can find enough material to put something on here every day. I know for you constant readers it is rough checking back day after day, only to find nothing new here, and I aim to correct that. I hereby vow that i shall put something on this site daily.( Time permitting) Ok, well at least every other day. Would you believe once a week? Well, no matter, rest assured that I will do my utmost to keep this site up to date, giving you entertainment, information, gossip, and mostly outright lies. Until the next time, foolish mortals, i mean, constant reader, ( Sorry God Complex kicking in) Take care of yourselves.
The Frog Story
A young bank teller was alerted to a presence at her window. Looking around, she saw only a small frog. The frog asked to take out a loan. “I’m sorry” said the teller. “We are not in the business of giving loans to frogs.” The frog glanced at her name tag, and tried again. “My dear Paddy Whack( for that was her name). I will have you know that my owner is none other than Mick Jagger.” “I’m sorry,” said Paddy, “but we still need some collateral for any kind of loan.” The frog thought for a minute, and pulled out a figurine. “Will this work? It’s all I have.” Paddy took the figurine, excused herself, and went to see the bank manager. She placed the figurine in front of him, and said: “Sir, there is a frog out here claiming to belong to Mick Jagger, and he would like a loan. He is putting this up for collateral, whatever the hell it is. What should I do?” The bank manager said: ( Are you ready for this?) (Wait for it!) “It’s a knick knack, Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
You may groan now.
