If You Say So

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS”…
In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need
to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following
conversation until you are able to understand the term “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”.  With a
little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in… Now, here go

The [...]

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Never Question a Drunk

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
 
 A half-gallon of 2% milk,
 
 A carton of eggs,
 
 A quart of orange juice,
 
 A head of romaine lettuce,
 
 A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
 
 A 1 lb. package of bacon.
 
 As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a  drunk standing behind me watched as I [...]

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Funny Want Ads

I found these on one of the millions of humor sites on the web.  There was no attributed author, however they are said to have actually appeared in newspapers. 
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. [...]

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