03.30.08

Netflix

Posted in Blogroll at 11:41 pm by radar2000

I recently jopined the online movie rental site Netflix.  Let me tell you, I give it 4 stars!!!  I know, it’s a shameless, unpaid plug, but if you watch as many movies as I do, it gets expensive.  So, rent them before you buy them!  Click on this link:

http://www.netflix.com/BeMyFriend/PB1gI2QGfhwYdqjHXPxe 

and you will get an invitation from me to join the site.  You will then be listed as one of my friends.  Happy watching!!!!  There is also a link on my blogroll.

03.27.08

Smart Answers

Posted in Comic Stuff at 12:48 am by radar2000

SMART ANSWER #6 — It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ANSWER #5 — A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’
SMART ANSWER #4 — A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’
SMART ANSWER #3 — The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the cop said. The kid replied, ‘Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’ When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ANSWER #2 — A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ‘Low Bridge overhead.  Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’ The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.’
SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 — A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’ A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’ The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’
Two bonus extras: A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, ‘May I have 50 Christmas stamps?  The clerk says, ‘What denomination?’ The blonde says, ‘God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.’
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’ He never heard the shot…

Weird World

Posted in Humor as I See It at 12:41 am by radar2000

I am so amazed by how much people can change over the years.  People who never spoke to me in school are not all up on me like we were old friends.  Granted, a couple of them I wanted to be real good friends with (wink wink), but why the change?  The Homecoming Queen is fat, the fat ones are skinny and hot, my god, where have I been?  It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!!  It’s all been pre arranged by people with access to top government secrets.  These people will stop at nothing until our world becomes a complete inverse of reality.  Ok, so Maybe not, but hoe the hell do you explain it???!!???

03.24.08

Politics by Scott

Posted in Humor as I See It at 4:00 pm by radar2000

Ok, I didn’t type this up, so I hope you can read it. 
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep.  Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room.

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’  ; ;

The little boy replies, ‘The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures

Posted in Gripes and Complaints at 3:57 pm by radar2000

Here’s another thing that gets my gander up.  People who say their kids mean the world to them, and then place them in dangerous situations.  Case in point, a woman who refuses to pay her child support, gripes about wanting her kid back, and will not even so much as attempt to contact them.  This is from a person who had all three of their kids removed by children’s services for an unclean home, been arrested for contributing, and had drugs and alcohol in the home while the kids were present.  To top it off a close friend of this person was arrested for assult with a deadly weapon!!!!!  yeah I want this one to take care of my kids.  Sorry Charlie, Homey don’t play that.

03.20.08

Call of Katchooloo

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:21 am by radar2000

Ok, loyal readers, I need a favor.  I’m trying to get a Call of Cthulu game going on here at home.  Problem is, I have no new ideas.  i hate to run with the same campaign I did in Germany, so if anyone out there is a gamer, and knows of any good sites on the web, let me know.

03.19.08

Short Quiz

Posted in Comic Stuff at 11:56 am by radar2000

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are four animals:
King Kong, an Ape, an Orangutan and a Monkey pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree:
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Think carefully. Try and answer within 30 seconds
Got your answer?


If your answer is:
Orangutan = you’re dull & normal
Ape = you’re a moron
Monkey = worse, you’re an idiot
King Kong = you’re hopelessly stupid
Why?????

A Coconut tree doesn’t have bananas!
Obviously you’re stressed and overworked.
Take some time off and Relax !
Gotcha!

Tax Rebate

Posted in Comic Stuff at 11:54 am by radar2000

 As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate.


  If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If
  we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, if we purchase a
  computer it will all go to India, if we purchase fruit and vegetables it
  will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatamala, if we purchase a good
  car it will all go to Japan, if we purchase useless crap it will all go
  to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
 
  We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, beer and visit Indian casinos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

03.13.08

The Wicker Man

Posted in Gripes and Complaints at 11:10 pm by radar2000

Not so very long ago, I subjected myself to that horror of horror movies, The Wicker Man.  Now, let me get this straight.  Not only did Hokeywood choose to make to make this movie back in the 70’s, they remade it thirty years later, with Nicholas Cage, even.  Now, I haven’t seen many movies Nick has been in that I haven’t liked, but this was the worst.  It’s an island appearently populated by lesbians, who, once in their life, go out into the world and get knocked up.  Then, they lure this moron back to their island, and involve him in some stupid harvest ritual.  I won’t tell you how it ends, but it is plain wrong.  Thye movie doesn’t haunt me as much as worry me.  Hokeywood has got to have better movies to remake than this.  How about one of the old Jack Benny comedies, or even some Dragnet episodes.  Come on, make me proud to be the movie geek again.

03.12.08

I Want to Work for This Guy

Posted in Comic Stuff at 9:51 pm by radar2000

A man owned a small farm in Indiana .

The Indiana State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying
proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them, demanded
the agent.

Well,’ replied the farmer, ‘there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for
3 years.  I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week
plus free room and board.

Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does
about 90% of all the work around here.  He makes about $10 per week,
pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every
Saturday night.  He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.’

‘That’s the guy I want to talk to — the half-wit,’ says the agent.

‘That would be me,’  replied the farmer.

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