Kids

why do kids, seem to like walking around naked?  My 8 year old has a facination with getting out of the tub, and walking around in nothing but a towel.  I guess it’s some sort of fashion statement.  It says: Look at me!!!!”  Then she argues over every little point, mainly because “it’s boring”.  I [...]

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Change in Venue

Well, for those that are playing Poker on Full Tilt, I would like to renounce my endorsement of that site.  Ok, so I never really endorsed it, but you get the picture.  In the last few weeks, i have been beaten on the river countless times by people who should never have stayed in the [...]

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Yet Another Warning from Andrea

The car thieves peer through the
windshield of your car or truck, write down the VIN # from the label on
the dash, go to the local car dealership and request a duplicate key
based on the VIN #. I didn’t believe this e-mail, so I called
Chrysler-Dodge and pretended I had lost my keys They told me to [...]

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Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher
whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up
a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the topic got around to Barack Obama and his bid to
be our President.
The old rancher said,’Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post turtle’.’ 
Not [...]

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Danger, Will Robinson!

Here’s an Email I got:
 
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly
contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by
hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload
Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of
your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever DO NOT [...]

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Wild West Rules

 

 

Rules of the Wild West, including:
North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington are as follows:

 1. Pull your pants up.  You look like an idiot.

 2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.

 3. Let’s get this straight:  it’s called a ‘gravel road.’  I drive a pickup truck because I [...]

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New Rules Part 2

“New Rules For 2008″
Part II
New Rule #11:
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters
in it doesn’t make you Spiritual. It’s right above the
crack of your a*s. And it translates to ‘beef with
broccoli.’ The last time you did anything spiritual,
you were
praying to G~d you weren’t pregnant.
You’re not spiritual. You’re just stupid.
New Rule:
Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s [...]

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Softball in Heaven

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Rita, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Rita visited her every day.

One day Rita said, ‘Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to [...]

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Abbott and Costello Meet Bill Gates

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to  REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who  sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on… for those who  don’t, you are too young anyway.
  If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their [...]

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New Rules

New Rule #1:
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be
just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new
homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out
the stuff you want and having other people buy it
for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version
of pick-pocketing.
New Rule #2:
Stop giving me that pop-up ad for  classmates.com !
There’s [...]

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